Things not to say

1. Is he still alive? I thought he’d be dead by now.

2. But she lives in such a nice neighbourhood. I’m surprised she goes to AA.
(only poor people are alcoholics?)

3. Wow! What did she do to deserve that?
Upon learning that my brother and husband died 18 months apart: their deaths, my karma

4. He’s been struggling for a long time. You’re not really surprised he killed himself?
Death is always a surprise and we always hope for a better ending.

5. Well he made a lot of bad lifestyle choices.
Implies his death should not be a surprise or that it is somehow deserved.
note: Sometimes those who make ‘poor’ lifestyle choices live a long time and sometimes those who make ‘good’ lifestyle choices get sick and die young. Stop looking for a reason.

Let’s work to enjoy the moment and be kind with our words and our thoughts. We are all in this together.
Till next time,
Stay well,


Looking for previous “Widow Wednesdays? Start here with Widow Wednesday #1
Buy Heike’s book “Grief is…” click here

To learn more about Heike (Author: “Grief is…”) click here

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